THE ADVENTURES OF A SOCIAL NETWORK ADDICT

THE ADVENTURES OF A SOCIAL NETWORK ADDICT (THE LAGOS CHRONICLES)

This article is based on true life experience

CHAPTER 18

After waiting for over an hour and I began to go through my back-up options. It was almost midnight so going to Okota at this time was definitely out of the question. Lekki was out of the option. The only two options l had left now was to either go back to Demola’s place or the crib at Shitta, didn’t like the idea of both.
I dipped my hands into my pocket to check up the time on my phone and saw a text. Fuck! The text was about 15mins old, I had forgotten to take my phone off silent mode when we got out of the cinema.

The Text:
“Mayo, am not sure about coming
Back.. Am scared but if u ask me
To come back. I will”

Shey this girl well sha?! What had we agreed on before she left?! I wanted to call her and blast her but once again the gentleman in me came up and I replied her,

“Liz, if you don’t wanna come back
Its all good won’t force you to do what you don’t want to, tho I really do want you to come been here for over an hour now”

See me forming text ooo, me wey dey boil!

Now packed right across me was a Rapid Response truck and basically I would look like a suspect to them. I was on my favourite all black outfit, I was over 6ft tall, I had been standing at a spot for over an hour looking left, right and center. Nigerian Police especially those in Surulere arrest people with even less characteristics. I started weighing my options once again, after about 15mins of thinking and basically re-thinking..I decided to find a place to crash and count my losses..was about turning away when a cab pulled up and Elizabeth stepped out. Phew! This girl can kill sha!

I waited while she strolled over and stood on her toes to kiss my cheeks.

“I am sorry” She muttered..nah, she wasn’t sorry yet, she would be by the time I am in her.
“Its nothing, you good tho?” The decent me asked. She nodded in the affirmative and we started walking towards a nearby guesthouse we had noticed earlier. We walked in silence, got here and in less than 10mins were in a room. I yanked off my clothes and headed off to the bathroom. I was feeling exhausted, was silently praying the bathroom had a shower that worked. And luckily my prayers were answered. I got in, turned it on and just stood there. Started thinking while letting the water run its course. Must have spent close to 20mins in there cuz the next thing I heard was Elizabeth asking if I wanted to wash away all my sins. I laughed and got out..

“Cover that thing jor!” She said as she threw a towel at me. I just shook my head and proceeded to get dry. The AC in the room was at full blast and the weather outside was even cold enough. I was having goose bumps. Got my boxers on and hopped into bed drew duvet up to my abdomen. Elizabeth had gone into the bathroom. She must have spent quite a while in there cause I have no memory of her coming out. I had slept off,she was tugging at my shoulders(see me oo, brother Ode wey wan fuck, sleeping on duty).

“I am cold,where’s your shirt” she asked.
Shirt bawo, what is the purpose of my been here when na my shirt she wan use keep warm? I didn’t say anything, the gentle side of me was obviously running this episode of my life. I got out of bed, went to pick my shirt from the chair I had placed it on, walked over to her side of the bed and then proceeded to fit her in it.

“Feeling better” I asked
“Yea” she said as she pulled my face close and kissed my nose, I turned it up a notch and kissed her straight on the mouth. Her hands were now on my shoulders, going round my neck.

Finally! I stuck my hands underneath the shirt and start tugging her nipples. She sat up properly and was now hugging tightly as I bit on her lower lips. I had let my hands strolled behind and unhook her bra..hands were now going down to her panties. I definitely had to taste what I was going to fuck. Then…

“No, I don’t want to do this” she moaned.
Ha! Shey dis girl no ya weyreh so? “Can’t do this” ke. Come oo, shey no be ogbanje I go carry so..and once again the gentle me was in charge. I took a deep breathe and kissed her forehead.
“It’s all aii, hun..can’t touch you without your permission (my usual line but true..never understood how guys enjoy forced sex)..I kissed her on the forehead once more and pulled up the duvet up to her breast.

“Sleep, its already late”..I was already calculating my loss for the night.. Not the cash but my hard-on. Sleep no gree at all..I just kept staring at the ceiling, everywhere was cold as fuck.

Only a matter of minutes and I could hear Elizabeth’s deep breathing as she slept on. I sighed and was wondering how dudes who rape enjoy it sef. I don’t know how or when I dozed off but my eyes went wide open when I heard

“Are you sleeping?”…
Sleeping ke? No oo..I was wide awake.
“No, I am not..tired but sleep isn’t just coming”…sharp lie. She rolled over and kissed my cheek. Next thing I knew was she was rolling over and stradling me. That ass on me ehn! I made no move to touch her or anything. My hands were still behind my head.

“I don’t like to regret things but I really want you in me” she said. Ehen me want myself in you sef abi dis girl no know as e dey go ni?
“Its your choice, dearie” I smiled at her…she lifted her ass up a little and dipped her hand down below to grab my dick which as usual wasn’t paying attention to me (the legal owner), in her hands (the rightful owner) now, it was on rampage..she used my dickhead to brush asides her panties and without taking anything off, slide my dick into her pussy which was already dripping.

She was pretty tight cause my dick found no breathing space. It was heaven even my hands left the back of my head and went straight to her ass. She was moaning now as I sat up a lil and started kissing and nibbling on her neck. Kissed the base of her neck right to her jaw and then behind her ears. Her moans were getting louder while I tried not to pay attention to my dick. The more attention you pay to your dick, the faster you are likely to cum, (many guys don’t know this). So during sex, I always find something else doing. I squeezed her ass hard and slid a finger between her cheeks. Didn’t know if she liked spanking but decided to try it. She was lost in ecstasy as I spank her soft round ass..immediately she laughed and jumped off me. Rolled over with ass shooting out. I needed no second invitation, I was on her within a blinking second, parted her thighs as I went into her tight pussy once more.

I was pounding her fast and hard now, she was moaning out and pretty loud now. Each time I went down, my lower abdomen kept hitting her ass. I slid a hand between her and the bed and then started rubbing on her pussy as I kept fucking her. I knew I was going to cum soon but I wanted her to cum first. I kissed behind her neck as I increased the tempo of my dick going into her. I raised my upper body a little and looked at my dick going in and out and then realised I was fucking her without a condom, damn!!! I had totally lost it. This didn’t hinder me as I kept fucking her hard, I could see her gripping the bed and her pussy getting tighter. I knew she was about to cum and I was already about to lose it. I closed my eyes as I shot my load all into her. Just like I had pushed her to the limit, she was cumming all over my dick at the same time. I was breathing heavily as I was cumming to my senses and noting the stupid, dumb mistakes I had made in less than 30mins. No condoms and I had released all into her. My worries were short-lived as she rolled over and smiled at me. She pulled me down to her and kissed me.

Well it had happened, the deed has been done and there was nothing I could do about it. I was still staring at her while she fell asleep and I rolled over to my side and started facing my demons.

With sleep now far from me, the thought of her getting pregnant and me contacting an STD occupied my mind as I stared all night at the ceiling wishing and hoping none ever happen.

Follow @MayowaPhillips

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Excerpts from Chapter 19 “as I dey fuck am, na so she look my face..’You know I don’t even know your surname”

THE ADVENTURES OF A SOCIAL NETWORK ADDICT

THE ADVENTURES OF A SOCIAL NETWORK ADDICT (THE LAGOS CHRONICLES)

This article is based on true life experience

CHAPTER 17

I tried and tried to suppress it, gradually as the hall was getting filled up..I just had to let it rip in a quiet manner. Funny thing about farting, you are always the first to perceive the odour. As the smell hit my nose, I squeezed my face and grumbled.

“Crazy peeps” I muttered under my breathe.
“What is wrong”..Elizabeth peered at my face as she asked. Obviously she had not perceived the smell yet. But it was better to stick with my alibi tho.
“You can’t smell anything?”I asked in supposed astonishment.
“Nah, I can’t” was the reply.

Guess I was all clear. Phew! Movie finally started after a few promos had run by. Going by previous experiences with other girls I made no move to touch Elizabeth. My hands were busy with the hotdog first then the popcorn which was based on Elizabeth’s thighs. I guess my stomach really wanted food while my head wanted something else. I began paying more attention to the movie and I must say I wasn’t disappointed. I have never watched any Nigerian movies in a cinema before (Hell! I don’t even watch them on TV) but Weekend getaway was making me second doubts.

I was so engrossed in the movie that I didn’t notice Elizabeth’s hand were rubbing my thighs. It took me a while to boot. I just looked at her and smiled..turned my face back to the movie. I think that smile gave her more confidence cause the next think I knew, her hands were on my belt buckle. I started grinning to myself, I was going to get head in a cinema (only ever happened to me once and I must tell you, the feeling’s priceless). I looked round..the person closest to me was about five seats to my left and judging by the way he was looking at the screen, he was more interested in the movie than whatever was going or about to go on around him. I adjusted and now ready for paradise…if only I knew the kinda torment I was up for ehn, I would have stopped her. She got my belt buckle loose, unhooked my jean button and slid her hands into my boxers..oo yes, go girl go go. I was smiling like an idiot now. She started stroking my dick which in its usual senselessness was standing at attention..I was staring at the screen and all of a sudden the movie wasn’t making sense anymore.. I was waiting for her to go down low. She was now stroking me faster. Which kain mad girl be this? Did she want me to cum before sucking me abi wetin? I was about cumming when she suddenly stopped and placed her fingertips on my dick cap and pinched…omo, that sperm ran back ni ooo. Now I was sweating, bone the cool atmosphere in the cinema hall I was sweating. Ok, maybe now she was ready to suck on it. The thought comforted me…I adjusted again as she gripped my dick..she started stroking..would this girl for christ’s sake quit fooling around and get down to the koko. She started going fast again and again pinching my cap when I was about to cum.

I suffered this pain in silence four times in a row each time consoling myself that my dick would soon be in her mouth. After the fourth time, I decided to pay her in her own coin. I removed her hand gently and placed it on her thighs. Since I am quite tall..I could see right down her cleavage and that was where I headed to. I slid my hands down her jalamia and squeezed her boobs along the way. She put her face down and was staring at my hand as my fingers made its way to one of her nipples..they were already erect as fuck. I could feel her breathe on my wrist as I started rolling her nipples between my fingers, pulling and pinching them as I did so. She looked up in pleasure and I noticed her eyes were closed..correct, I was hitting jackpot. I continued this absent minded as my face returned to the big screen. She was breathing fast, I could tell..she suddenly yanked my hands out of her bra..hmm oh well..I didn’t say anything. We both continued staring at the movies in silence.

I don’t know how many minutes had passed till I could feel her tugging at my shirt. I turned my face to answer her when my lips were met with hers..I couldn’t even think..her lips were soft and inviting. I was stroking her arm through her cloth as the kiss drew longer. I felt her hands moving underneath my shirt and rubbing my naked chest. Now she was pulling at my nipples. She moaned in my mouth as I picked one of her legs and placed it across my legs.. I was thinking, what next? What next? Ooo! Definitely we weren’t going to fuck in a cinema na but then where was this kiss headed to? I was still thinking when she broke off the kiss abruptly…what was wrong? She recoiled in her seat. Errrr was my breathe bad..or was the kiss horrible? I was pretty sure it wasn’t any of the two. Nothing more happened till the end of the movie. We got along with everyone else but I didn’t move.

Was waiting for my silly dick to be at ease..finally we made our way out, Elizabeth was back holding my arm. As we got out to the hallway, she excused herself and made her way to the ladies rest room. I looked at my wristwatch, it was almost 10:30 pm..

As I was standing there and noticed that everywhere was virtually empty, an idea popped into my head.. I picked up my phone and called Elizabeth. She didn’t pick rather next thing I noticed she was coming out of the rest room. Damn!

“Time’s running late” she smiled as she said so..
“I know, I was calling you to find out if anyone else was in the rest room”
“None” then suddenly her face lit up as she got what I was trying to do. I didn’t say anything as we took the escalator downstairs. I held her hand and made straight for the male rest room..there was none in.. PERFECT!

I pulled her into one of the stalls, closed up one of the toilet seats and sat on it..bringing her to sit on me..my hands moved fast, were already underneath her jalamia in a matter of seconds. Finding the hook of the jean she had on wasn’t that difficult, all this while I kept her mouth busy with mine..probing every corner of her mouth with my tongue. I unhooked her jean and slid one my hands into her panties..my fingers making instant connection with her pussy lips..she was really wet and ready..I rubbed her for a while before bringing over one of my hands to my belt buckle..my other hand was already on her backside.

I playfully let one of my fingers slide between her ass cheeks as I finally free my dick from clothing prison. I grabbed her hips and made attempt to pull her up so I could finally get her jeans and panties down. As I made my move, she broke our kiss once more and started moaning ‘no’ no’…no no bawo..I was already at quarter to. Which one be no no? Fuck this. I took my hands off her and heaved. I looked at her as she leaned against the wall resting her head on it in the process. Her eyes were closed and I could hear her breathing heavily. I stood up and adjusted my clothing, buckled my belt back and waited for whatever was next.

After what seemed like eternity, she started pulling her panties back on properly, hooking her jean back on too ending it all by smoothing her jalamia over everything. All the while her eyes were still closed.

“I can’t do this” she finally said as she opened her eyes.
“Its all right..I understand. Its getting late tho, let’s go”.

In my boxers, it wasn’t ok at all. My dick was at war with my boxers. My head was at war with my heart. I just had to do the right thing!
We got out of the rest room and everywhere was empty. Walked out the mall encountering only the late night guards.

“So where are you going to now?” She asked.
“Home..Okota, can’t go to Lekki tonight..what about you?”
“Wanna get sharwarma and then head home”
“Oh ok, where do you wanna get the sharwama?” I asked…
“Let’s stroll along Bode Thomas, we would see”

And then we began to walk in silence hand in hand. It was a pretty cold night and I was beginning to have a slight headache. I rubbed my forehead.

“Mayo, ehmmm what if I went home to pick a few things and spend the night with you?” She broke the silence.
Ehn! My brain went into overdrive..started putting two and two together.
“Well I don’t think I would go to Okota then, we would have to get an hotel room around”
“Ermmm. ok but I would need to get a cab”..she continued.

Was this going to be a great idea? I wasn’t thinking straight anymore. To me, it was perfect. We finally got her a cab while I promised I’d wait at the Eric Moore/Bode Thomas intersection. I made a quick dash to the nearest ATM machine as the taxi took off. Withdrew Five Thousand Naira to add to the One Thousand plus I still had in my wallet then I walked back to the intersection and started waiting.

An hour later, I was still waiting.

To be continued…………………………………..

Follow Mayowa on Twitter @MayowaPhillips

THE ADVENTURES OF A SOCIAL NETWORK ADDICT

THE ADVENTURES OF A SOCIAL NETWORK ADDICT (THE LAGOS CHRONICLES)

This article is based on true life experience

CHAPTER 16

Few days after Joke’s birthday and boredom was back at full throttle..Gbenga and I spent time meeting up different girls at the Cinema..to say I was missing Ibadan was an understatement. Salewa was pissed off at me, she hadn’t seen me in almost a month now. It was understandable but right now I was trying to stay off sex and just get my head straight.

Segun was done with NYSC and was back in lagos too based at Surulere. I sometimes went over to hangout with him and some of our other school friends. Getting back into the Lagos lifestyle was proving more difficult as ever..and just when I thought I’d just roll over and die, a job offer came through..a dude I had met in Ibadan and gisted with called about a supervising job in a charcoal exporting company. What did I know about charcoal? Absolutely nothing but a job’s a job…he said he was gonna call me back in a few days on where to report to..oh well,good.

Just when I thought I would spend the next few days in Lagos in peace, Elizabeth called..(Elizabeth is a girl I had met way back when we used to run 2go..and only met once at a friend’s end of the year party. She schooled in Abuja)..to inform me she was in Lagos and asked if I would be free the next day. I said sure and asked where she was staying..she replied ‘Surulere’..great..leisure mall once again. Oh well..I could at least have one last date before I started off working.

The next day arrived and by 2pm I was enroute Surulere..got off at Shitta roundabout and strolled over to see Demola.

“How far” he said as I opened the gate and stepped into the compound..
“I dey jare..omo food dy to chop?” I was feeling famished..

He bursted out laughing..crazy dude.

“So na hunger carry you from Okota come lere?”
“Couple jare..as I drop for napep, one stupid hunger just begin dy worry me”..

He was still laughing as we walked into the house..I just went straight to the room and fell on bed..pulled my phone out and texted Elizabeth to tell her I was around.

“You go chop noodles?” Segun asked
“Sure, why not?” I replied without lifting my face off my phone screen. He went out to make the noodles arrangement. Elizabeth replied my text with “Give me about an hour, wanna finish some chores”…babygirl, take as long as you need I said to myself as I looked around for a charger to plug in my phone.

Phone plugged in, I stretched my whole 6ft plus frame on d bed again as I adjusted to catch a quick nap. Don’t call me weird but I can sleep anywhere and anytime..I rarely sleep at night so whenever I feel my eyelids sagging, I grab the chance.

I must have been asleep for two hours or so I thought till Segun shook my leg and I woke up. Checked the time and found out I had slept for less than 20mins. Fuck, think I would have to see a doctor soon.

“When you no go sleep when normal human beings dey sleep. Under five minute now you don close eyes” Segun hissed as he placed a plate of hot noodles and fried eggs in front of me . My hunger didn’t even allow me reply him. I took hold of the plate and sat up properly. Picked my phone and quickly saw my stats 5pings, few mentions..I sighed, would attend to that later..food was of the essence right now. Started up while Demola put on his music deck..

“You don watch fast and furious 6?” I asked him as I was eating..
“Yea but na cinema dub tinz..moviesmobile never get clean version” he was already bumping his head to the music he had on..I was about to comment when my phone rang. One glance at it saw the name ‘Liz’ across the screen. Damn! I picked up..

“I am at shoprite, where are you?’ Came her tiny voice..
“Oo ok..just walk up to foodcourt, I’d meet you there” I was already dropping my plate halfway. Was feeling downcast about not been able to end the meal. Got up, adjusted my belt, unplugged my fone and headed out..

“Weyreh, who go chop d remaining indomie?” Demola called after me.
“Help me cover am…I wan quickly jam one girl”. I was out of earshot to hear his next comment. Practically jogged out of the street and into Adeniran Ogunsanya to catch a keke napep to Shoprite. Got off right in front of Eagle’s club..adjusted my clothing as I paid the driver. Crossed over and walked into the mall. Stretched my arms out wide as I was wiped with the metal detector..do these peeps have any idea how annoying this is?! I just shook my head as I made my way to the escalator…the mall seemed a lil over-crowded today, oh well. I slid my hands into my pockets as I reduced my walking speed..I was almost at foodcourt now and I could already see Elizabeth sitting at the Game place stand and watching dudes at the snooker table. I felt my stomach rumble as she turned and smiled at me. Butterflies? Nah, I don’t think so.

“I almost called out to that tall guy, thought he was you”..she said as I got to her and bent over to kiss her cheeks.
“Which guy?”
“That one” my eyes followed hers as I sighted a tall dark dude sitting about two tables away. Handsome guy #NoHomo.
“He’s as cute as you”…she dropped. I laughed. This girl must be sick or something, me cute ke? Wonder what she had been smoking.
“So how has your day been so far?” I asked trying to make light conversation.
“Well, its been ok..been home all day running errands and doing some chores”..she brushed back her hair as she was talking..gotta admit she was quite pretty.
“Come, let’s go and check the movie schedule”..

I stretched my hand to help her up. She smiled and took it as she got up and we started heading downstairs. She was putting on a jalamia which was really doing a nice job of hiding her lovely round ass. She wrapped her hands round my arms as we walked out of the mall to the next compound which was Leisure Mall. Crossed my finger praying not to run into my Uncle who had a knack for always grinning whenever I brought a girl around.

We took the stairs this time as we headed up to the filmhouse. Two steps forward and I could already spot my Uncle at the popcorn counter. Darn! I give up..Elizabeth was still holding onto my arm as I made straight for my Uncle, today might actually be my lucky day and I’d get a few change out of him.

“Mayowa, Mayowa” that silly grin of his again! I didn’t mind this time, I was concerned with getting something out of him.
“Good evening” I smiled as I greeted him.

He wasn’t looking at me though, his hands were already stretched out to Elizabeth. All the males in my family asides my younger brother were sharpshooters, it was a curse..but in this case I wasn’t going on the defensive. He had greeted and started asking her name as I left them and made my way to the tickets stand to find out what movie was showing and at what time. After going back and forth undecided, I excused Elizabeth from my Uncle and asked her to come pick a movie. She decided on ‘The Weekend Getaway’ a Nigerian movie! Arrrghh! Never watched a Nigerian movie in a cinema before..well sha all join. The movie was for 8:30 so we had time to kill..My Uncle had called Elizabeth back while I paid for the movie tickets. Usually whenever I run into my Uncle, he pays for the movie but today I didn’t bother. My stomach rumbled again, what was going on?! I didn’t feel like going to the toilet and my stomach was half-empty sef so it couldn’t be constipation. Paid for the ticket, decided to go to the rest room just to b double sure. Walked into one of the stalls, unhooked my belt buckle and sat my ass down. Brought out my fone as usual to tweet coz believe it or not, only 2 places have the best network reception in the world..a toilet and a church! Got a ping from Elizabeth ‘come and save me, your Uncle is asking for my pin and number’…I bursted out laughing before remembering I was in a toilet. I wasn’t even feeling anything again..just got up, cleaned up..had my belt buckle back up..went over to the basin while a guy who had probably heard me laughing in the toilet was staring at me as I splashed water on my face..bros, you better mind your business, last time I checked, there was no one sane in Nigeria. I walked back out and found Elizabeth already laughing with my Uncle. I joined in the conversation and learnt that Elizabeth had told my Uncle that she was my girlfriend and we had been dating for over 3 months! Shuu, when that one start?! While we talked, I managed to shake two thousand naira out of my Uncle as movie time approached, went to get a big sized popcorn pack and two bottles of pepsi and one hot-dog. My patience finally paid off. We said out goodbyes as I pulled Elizabeth away from him and we headed into the screening hall.

“Thank God, that your Uncle ehn! Is everyone in your family a flirt?!” She blurted out once out of earshot.
I laughed and replied

“Nah, he’s just playful..and we don’t have flirts in my family”..my brain started ticking all the male names in the family as I told this big fat lie. We were the first to come in and I went straight to my favourite spot in a cinema..the back row, last angle seats. As we were taking our seats,my stomach rumbled and I could feel a fart coming..Oh dear Lord!

To be continued……………………………….

Follow Mayowa on Twitter @MayowaPhillips