It felt like falling down from the sky without the aid of a parachute, it was all sweet sailing in the sky like a bird but you know when you land you are gonna crash and probably die. It is scary sweet. I knew I was falling for him as I stared down at him on the hospital bed, he looks so frail, so sick, slimmer than how I thought he was, a slight knock on the door turns my attention to the door, as Pharez and Eni walks in, standing up I walk up to Eni and embrace her, hugging her brings fresh pain and I start to cry, she just rocks me like her baby, after some minutes, I pull away and look into her eyes she is nodding in understanding and I give her a quick smile before turning to Pharez, he draws me in for a quick awkward hug, I sigh, for someone who I used to be very close to that was distant.

We need to reach his family” glancing at Deji still on the bed, “he has been here for two days now” I finish turning to Pharez……

Pharez shakes his head before saying “He wouldn’t want them to know
But he is on the hospital bed, they deserve to know
Becca trust me on this” Pharez replies before walking to Deji’s bed….I almost shout at me but I take a deep breath and turn to Eni she stretches her hand and I take it.

How is Des?” I ask
She is good….we did as you asked and continued with the engagement party, she is on her way here
Good” I nod my head and send her a tired smile
How are you?” She asks
Honestly I don’t know” I reply “I’m not supposed to care this much for the guy, I barely know him but it feels like Che again
She nods again in understanding and squeezes my hand.

Doctors said anything?
Nope but I think it is a normal occurrence, when his driver Wale and I brought him they knew his case, if you understand what I mean, I don’t know maybe I’m just thinking too much but why doesn’t he want his family to know?” I ask her like she has an answer
Let’s keep ……” She is interrupted by a cough I turn sharply and walk quickly to his bed, he is awake.

He looks at me briefly before turning his eyes to Pharez
Again?” He asks weakly…..

Pharez nods, Eni hands Pharez a cup of water as Pharez helps him drink it. And I am watching the exchange throughout like I wasn’t there and Deji is avoiding my eyes
A moment alone” he says cleaning his mouth….Pharez nods and I turn and start heading to the door, he is ignoring me, I can’t believe this….. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn “He wants to talk you Becca” he whispers, I stop in my track as I watch Eni and Pharez leave.

a girl

I turn back to look at Deji he is looking at me and me only…..I turn my face away, for the first time I can’t stand a guy’s stare…

Becca look at me” he says, he still sounds weak and I cant help myself i turn to him.
Should I get the doctor?” I ask.
Nope they are not gonna tell me anything I don’t already know” he replies

I quirk my eyebrow questioning his statement

Come and sit” he says
No thanks” I reply
What I have is not contagious” he replies
I blink rapidly did I hear right?? Did he just think I am avoiding to touch him, my pity and sympathy builds up to anger and I start to pace the room…

Contagious? I have been with u for the past thirty six hours, are you mad?” I realise I’m shouting and I walk up to him looking into his eyes “if what you have is contagious I’m dying too
He smiles and den starts to laugh, I raise my eyebrow at him and he stops.

I’m sorry …….sit” I sit “I just couldn’t continue seeing pity in your eyes, it is killing me” he says, I nod but I don’t say anything.
Becca….I’m dying, the doctor says I have less than six months to live and well I’m dying, no one knows just Pharez, Wale, my immediate elder sister, you and Eni” he smiles weakly… “I have a tumor growing in my brain and if they remove it, it will leave me brain dead, it is growing rapidly but yesterday was the second time that ever happened.
I’m just sitting there, my sense of speech has been eaten by whale, I really can’t make my mouth say anything.

Say something” he says
I’m……..” He raises his hand up and I clamp my mouth shut
I need you Becca” he whines in pain before he continues “I want to marry you

My legs start to shake and it feels like I just have been hit by a grenade
Where is my Bruno Mars?” I’m screaming in my mind, bringing myself back I turn to look at him, he is squinting and trying to focus on my face.

Marry you? Is that another one of your jokes, Deji?

He rolls his eyes before he answers “This is no joke Becca, I’m dying and I have everything, money, my family, but I want my own family, my own family” he repeats….. I finally understand and I almost punch him then I remember he is dying.

Don’t ever call me again” I say, I stand up and walk out of his hospital room without glancing back, shutting the door I walk to the waiting room and see Eni, Des and Pharez…… I walk up to Des and hand her my car keys “Please drive me home” without giving a second glance at Pharez, I walk away with Eni and Des following me, Yeah my babies we always stick together. We walk to my car in silence and as I am about to get in Eni holds me and asks….

Wanna talk about it?” She asks
I look into her big eyes and I almost start to cry again

Nope, Becca get a grip” my inner bitch shouts at me…..I shake my head, she nods and I get into the car.
We are driving in silence and my mind starts to run a race.

Why does life have to be like this…..can’t I be happy? I hate you Deji, you can’t just come into my life and drop a bombshell…..marry you, have a child for you ( a child you won’t get to see) this is ridiculous I cant do this…….. See me wishing for a steady relationship and my Grandmother going to Shiloh for a proposal for me and now this.

I sigh deeply, I can see Des looking at me and I roll my eyes as I turn away, it has been a long forty eight hours. I fall asleep.

To be continued……………………………………………..

Becca


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