This article is based on true life experience



“You fuck girl for Zoo” had been the topic before I slept off. Was tired AF.
 Woking up to the blaring sounds of generators in the compound can be annoying. This Lead City students ehn! I have already told Dayo to look for another apartment outside this hostel. This peeps were just not it!

I stretched my hand and picked my phone. Looked at the time, and it was past 1am. I have been asleep for almost 5 hours and this doesn’t happen often. Lemme read my pings. Salewa had ping’d over 10times thanking me for yesterday..”Sighs” I should be the one thanking her. I was the one who got head in a Zoo. Saw a ping from Dayo, he was at work already, didn’t wanna wake me when I was sleeping..

Good. Read some other flimsy ones before deciding the heat was getting too much. Time to put on the Gen and make some noise of my own! Got out of the room, crossed the pavement and bent down to put on the gen. “Let fuel be in it sha”. Phew, there was fuel……was about pulling it on when I noticed some shadow movement in a corner. Hope say no be armed robbers, i quickly switched off my phone (that’s the most valuable thing with me) and started walking towards the corner.

  Wait! One mind told me, who the fuck did I think I was? 007 or Jason Bourne? What if it was actually robbers? Hmm I shook off the thought, it was probably a student coming out to get his/her gen on. Getting closer and I started hearing funny sounds. The sounds were like that of someone panting, like seriously couldn’t be what I was thinking. I moved closer and on turning the corner saw a very crazy scene. A girl was facing the wall..her hands stretched in front of her.. She was on only a bra and a skirt that had bin raised over her ass and a guy was behind really fucking her brains out.. I quickly stepped back before I was noticed. Took a deep breathe…

“Wait,wait. I think I saw someone” the girl’s voice.
  “No one..probably someone in their room”..

LMAO!!!!!……………Well what sorta excuse are you expecting from a guy in action. I was pretty sure he wasn’t ready to stop match at half-time. Few seconds and the panting sounds were back..this time with a lot of moaning and groaning.

                   “Don’t release in me oo” the girl said btw moans.

Weyreh, how many guys do you think have learnt the withdrawal method properly (if you’re a guy and you haven’t learnt the “WITHDRAWAL METHOD” then you’re a LEARNER). It was a gift.

  “Spank my ass plss” this girl was really going at it.
And I started getting hard, decided to walk away before one stupid mind makes me walk up to them and say I wanna enter next set.

 Walked back to the room, didn’t even bother about the gen again. Had another idea. Opened Dayo’s fridge, there was also alcohol..this case, almost a full bottle of absolute Vodka. “Sighs” no juice or anything..I hate drinking raw vodka but in this case I had no choice. I picked the vodka, picked 2 cups and went back outside to the Verandah.. Placed everything on the railings, pour myself a cup and started sipping. Awww cool breeze..Baba God sef know as e dey go.

 Was there for about 10mins when I saw someone walking towards me..it was the fucking guy, time to put plan in action. As he walked up to me and greeted, I replied and said.

       “Chairman, abeg you get any oil for gen, na small I get and e no go do?”
              “Oo sorry bros, I no even get gen” ..

…….no wonder he was fucking out in the open. And I was ready to bet the girl wasn’t his girlfriend.

                “o sorry, no vex jare..this Nepa no even wan allow person sleep”
                “Na so jare, na naija we dey”
  “Omo join me oo..at least if light no dey, we still fit dey maintain body” I said as I pushed the extra cup to him. Gave him the bottle to help himself (Note: Its really hard for a guy who has just finished fucking to turn down alcohol).

   As he was pouring out the drinks, the girl was coming, obviously she had needed more time to get her skirt back on. She mumbled some greeting and just walked past and went straight to the guy’s room.

         “Oo ur wife dey around?” I asked absent minded
       “Na,at all..na my friend, she get problem, she just con crash my side for the night” …a big drinker, he had poured out almost a full cup and was gulping not sipping sef.
  “E dey happen sha..my name’s Mayowa” I said as I stretched out my hand to him…

To be continue……………………..

NOTE: I am not as naughty/wild/carefree as you may think. I just happen to always get into weird/wild/funny situations  — Mayowa Phillips.




  1. And I started getting hard, decided to walk away before one stupid mind makes me walk up to them and say I wanna enter next set.
    Some crazy shit L̃̾Õ☺Õ̾Ô=D:D=));)ÕÔ☺Õ̾L̃̾

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