This article is based on true life experience
What more can I say?..scrolled down my BBM contact list and discovered the girl from BADOO had deleted me..*sighs* just when I was still considering to pay the N5,000 sef.
Peeps had criticised me for saying giving a lady N1,000 tfare is too much. Get this straight, any “Lady” coming to pay u a visit whether cordial or for sex would come prepared and even turn down any money you give her (tried it a few times). And a lady that accepts really isn’t worth it”. Though not saying you shouldn’t be a gentleman and get her a cab. #MyOpinion.
You know that smile that draws up on your face when a girl sends u a DM on twitter. The one on my face was twice as huge when I got mine. Strangely whenever I am dm-chatting with a girl, I usually go to check how many followers she’s got to know if I’m wasting my time. Anyway miss cutie here is a student of U.I and had seen me tweeting about Ibadan’s funny weather. After dropping my usual “just moved to Ibadan and no friends” line. She accepted my offer to hook-up in the evening. Guess I’d better head to Dayo’s place to burn time (he’s d only male pal I have got in Ibadan) picked up my BB charger. Got to his house and getting down from the bike, the usual scenery hit me (he lives in one of those houses called “HOSTEL” in this case his place is filled with “LEAD CITY” students. If you visit around 7-10am, your eyes would be treated to different shape and sizes of girls walking around with bumshorts and tops, no bras underneath).
Back to reality, I walked to room 17 and knocked, I looked at the floor and noticed a pair of female sandals (obviously I had chosen the wrong time to visit). I was about turning around and leaving when the door opened and a girl came out. Greeted me with a huge smile on her face (hmm Action Dayo!), wore her sandals and left. She was quite unattractive, seriously…could bet her chest had only her nipples covered wit bra..no boobs at all (well Dayo never had any taste in women sha) so I’m not surprised. I entered the room and was welcomed wit his usual shouts of “Mayo, Boss mi” (yeye boi, he was working n earning better money, I was still hopping okadas).
“Omo,I gentle oo. (Why won’t he be gentle,he just spent the whole night fucking).
“Mayo chill,make I sharply buy sometin 4 outside”
He got a shirt on and went out, I dropped my charger and fell on d bed (hope he sha didn’t discharge on d bed, it was a nice cozy self-contain apartment..room, kitchen, bath/toilet. And the bed was the only thing on the rug to sit on). Let him come back and get his gen on,wanna charge jare..got some messages to reply on BADOO.
“Mayo, if I tell u wetin happen last night ehn” ..He started as he entered back wit a bottle of Reagal gin and 2bags of lipton (oh dear).
“Wetin happen”..I wasn’t really in the mood for stories jare. He didn’t answer as he proceeded to the kitchen. Opened d reagal and dropped d lipton in it (boiz would tell you this is a perfect mixture to help prevent malaria, in reality,its just gin jare!). Brought out 2 small tumblers and poured his…gave me the 2nd cup (*Sighs* I have never been a fan of gin but you just have to honour your host #BroCode).
“You see that girl this mornin ehn”..
Of course I had seen her, did dis boy forget she was the one who opened d door?.
“She be Busola friend oo” (dis isn’t going to be good, Busola was a girl Dayo had met on 2go and she was pregnant with his child. 3rd child actually, he has got 2 kids with 2 different ladies. One in Lagos and one here in Ibadan. Shocking,right?)….that’s the kind of life Dayo was living.
“She be Busola friend and she come see you early morning for wetin?” (I was forming stupid, always nice to let people see you that way). Took my first sip of the gin.
‘” Early morning ke? Boi, she sleep overnight ni ooo. I comot wit my friends last night as I close from work, we go drink. Of which me and Busola get fight at the moment. As we drink beta dey go,my eye don dey tint. I dey reason make I go queen cinema go carry Olosho (yoruba word 4 prostitute) wey I go fuck. Na im call enter oo”..
I unbuttoned my top 2buttons. The gin had obviously turned my body temperature up a notch.
“Wetin con happen?’ I asked
“Na dis girl call me…..she say she wan see me..talk to me about our fight. I sha look time, see say na around 9pm. I just bone sha,drive go pick am for wey she talk say she dey”.
“You go pick am? Shebi na talk she wan talk, you go pick am go whr?..'” I adjusted myself on the bed. Obviously gin with Dayo’s story isn’t a good combo.
“Cool down, (he knew I wanted the full gist) I go pick am bring am come house. As we enter,I lock door put key for pocket. We sha sit down and she begin talk, beg me say make I forgive and take care of Busola”.
Seriously my whole body system was on fire. D gin had rili taken over.
” She sha talk till around that 10.. She con talk say she wan dey go house. I just dey look am as she go door see say I don lock am and no key dey the hole. She con ask me for key, me wey eye don tint and konji dey body. I just tell am flat say I wan fuck am”.
Holy pyjamas, Dayo has really gone mad. Or probably I didn’t hear what he was saying properly.
“She first dey beg me,then later wen I tell am say if she like make she shout sef..everyone for the compound na mind ur business. She con comport tell me say na only 1round I go fuck oo. Ask me if I get condom, I sharply carry bed up,,pull out 2condoms.”
Like seriously?! I was now sweating seriously. Sipped the gin again tho..
“Mayo,as I pull the girl jeans down..pull her pants…..I just…….
To be continued……………………..